Introducing Goat Cheese to Grover
by Retrobution
Summary: What happens when Percy goes shopping and sees goat cheese? He introduces it to Grover of course! Watch Grover's reaction as he sees it.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Percy's POV

I woke up in the morning and realized that I was short of some food. Usually I wouldn't care and just wait until all the food runs out but today my best friend Grover was coming to visit. I groaned as I checked my wallet and saw that it was almost empty. Two fivers were sticking out. Oh well maybe I could just stuff the food on a nice plate and he'll be impressed. I hoped he would. I would still have to buy something though so instead of relaxing in bed until I hear the doorbell ring I had to go out shopping. I fixed myself the remaining cornflakes for breakfast with no milk. It had run out yesterday. Maybe the milk would be on a discount along with some other things.

I walked to my car slowly and opened it. The car was a Maserati Spyder, and a gift from the gods. I smiled as I drove to the supermarket. I could have easily walked but I was in a hurry. Grover was coming in two hours. Hopefully he'll get distracted from saving the wild. I parked my car near the sidewalk and sprinted around the supermarket looking for things he might like. So far I found nothing but then a word caught my eye. I looked at the word closely but my dyslexia acted up. I tried seeing if I could make a word anywhere near it but I couldn't. After a few seconds I hid my embarrassment and walked up to a random person.

"Hey do you know what this says?" I asked pointing to what seemed like squiggly lines to me.

"That's goat cheese." The guy replied then returned to what he was doing.

I grinned, it was the perfect prank to Grover but it all depended on how kick it cost.

"How much is it?"

"Five bucks."

And just below my budget too. I held onto the goat cheese and grabbed the milk while walking to the cashier. The total cost was nearly over my two fivers but I managed. I ran to my car. I had taken up a lot of time already. Jumping in the front seat I drove back to my house and quickly arranged everything. Then deciding Grover's house was a mess too I have up cleaning and sat down on the couch while watching tv. Grover came later then usual but when I asked him why he just stammered something about 'his lord of the wild duties'. Ignoring his lie I walked to the kitchen grinning. I knew demigods couldn't read but satyrs could. I got out my recorder and the goat cheese and gave it to Grover my expression blank.

"G-man do you know what this says?" I asked him.

He took the goat cheese and read the label. I quickly put the recorder on play.

"It says goat chee-" He began.

I knew Grover could overreact sometimes but this was a bit more than overreacting. At first his face got really red and then he started talking loudly.

"Goat cheese? They slaughter goats for a tiny piece of food? They're gonna pay for this Perce how many of these were in stock?" He ranted

"Loads," I said playing along but it was also the truth.

"WHAT? They are really going to get it! I'm going to get all the animals of the wild and stampede that store! Then I'm going to warn all the goats to never give in to slaughter! I'll say 'Use your hooves! Kick them in the shin and run away to a place far away! Or at least do something!' Then after that speech I'm going to kick those slaughterers in the shin myself and-" He yelled very red in the face now.

I could have gone on listening to him forever but it was getting boring so I interrupted him, "G-man..."

"Don't call me G-man because you think it'll calm me down. The only thing that will calm me down is to-" He interrupted my interruption.

"Grover you know I was just playing right? This isn't meat. This is cheese. Cheese comes from milk not goat meat." I explained trying to keep my face from laughing.

"Are you sure?" He bleated.

I sighed and conjured up sone mist and got out a drachma. I threw it in.

"Oh goddess iris please accept my offering show me Annabeth Chase Camp Half Blood." I said.

The mist turned into a picture of Annabeth and luckily she noticed me immediately.

"Percy!" She yelled out happily.

"Hey Annabeth can you convince Grover that this is goat cheese not meat." I responded trying to keep my voice as equally happy as hers.

She nodded and went in an explanation about the difference about goat cheese and meat. Grover nodded once in a while and when it was over we waved goodbye and she swept her hand through the mist. The picture disappeared and I saw Grover looking bleary eyed from the explanation.

"Sorry Perce. I think I'll be going now." He said.

I stopped the recording and was about to stop Grover because it was too early but when I looked at the clock it was already seven.

"See you later." I called out.

He waved his hand and limped towards his car. Deciding to play one more joke on Grover I ran out after him.

"Hey G-man don't you want the goat cheese?"

The only response I got was the engine of Grover's car in my face. I coughed when the smoke hit my face and went back inside.

"So that's a no then." I said quietly to myself.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I just realized that I forgot to do a disclaimer on all my stories so I'll say it now: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Grover's POV

The alarm clock woke me up. Today I was meeting up with Percy. One of the big three. Why he wants to be my friend I don't know. I knew that I could sleep for an hour and a half since I was only visiting. I smiled and went back to sleep.

It was two hours later of sleep when I found out I overslept. I panicked and quickly got my crutches and limped towards my car. It was an uneventful ride and I hoped he wouldn't mind if I was late. I drove to the maximum speed and reached Percy's house in no time. Limping to his door like I would at Enchilada Day he opened the door.

"Hey G-man." Percy said.

"Perrrce!" I bleated happily.

He gestured me inside and I could see him grinning. I made myself comfy on the couch and waited for Percy to come out the kitchen. I watched the Discovery Chanel and smiled when I saw the trees an flowers. Savouring the moment Percy had to ruin it. He handed me something his expression blank.

"G-man do you know what this says?" He asked.

I took the thing from him and read the label out loud.

"It says goat chee-" I began.

I stopped when I realised what it meant. They're slaughtering goats! My face got red.

"Goat cheese? They slaughter goats for a tiny piece of food? They're gonna pay for this! Perce how many of these were in stock?" I knew I was ranting but I didn't care.

"Loads," he responded.

"WHAT? They are really going to get it! I'm going to get all the animals of the wild and stampede that store! Then I'm going to warn all the goats to never give in to slaughter! I'll say 'Use your hooves! Kick them in the shin and run away to a place far away! Or at least do something!' Then after that speech I'm going to kick those slaughterers in the shin myself and-" I yelled very red in the face.

Percy interrupted me, "G-man..."

"Don't call me G-man because you think it'll calm me down. The only thing that will calm me down is to-" I began.

Percy thinks he can calm me down. Poor, poor goats that have to suffer that torture.

"Grover you know I was just playing right? This isn't meat. This is cheese. Cheese comes from the milk from the goats. This is not goat meat." Percy interrupted me.

How can I know he was playing. He hung out with the Stoll brothers sometimes.

"Are you sure?"

He sighed irritably and muttered some words. Moments later the face of Annabeth Chase came into view.

"Percy!" She said joyfully, completely ignoring me.

See? No one wants a goat. Percy said something back and she turned to me.

"Grover the difference between goat meat and goat cheese is easy to tell..." She told me and at first I thought she would stop there.

Surprise, surprise! She didn't. She told me about all the differences and I think it lasted until seven. Finally she finished. She waved goodbye and swept her hand through the mist. I looked bleary eyed at all the information.

"I think I'll be going now." I said.

I walked out and heard Percy call something after me. I waved goodbye and limped to my car. I opened the door and drove away completely ignoring what Percy said next. I drove all the way to Camp Half Blood and ditched my car somewhere near the strawberry fields. I saw Katie Gardner scold me for ruining the strawberries but I wasn't in the mood to care. Usually I would care about anything in nature but today I had enough explanations.


End file.
